She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
