butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
