shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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