in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
