a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
