please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
