sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
