If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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