I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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