IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
