Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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