yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
