Hey man sorry I got all grabby
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
