Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
you had me at cake vodka
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
