put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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