4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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