so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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