Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You can't special order awesome
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We had sex on a dog bed..
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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