she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
