'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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