I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
