Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
