Your tits are I can't wait for
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Sober January is a disaster.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The dick lei will go down in squad history
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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