i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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