Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
