it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
