super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
