guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
And my parents said I crawled through the house
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I party with great urgency now.
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