the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
