I wish my penis had an off switch
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
