you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
