trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
