she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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