Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
