you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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