im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
