I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
we made out on top of his cat.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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