no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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