i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
