my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
