As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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