The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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