Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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