My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
