i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
How does one acquire holy water?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
