When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Can you bring me the toilet please
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
