Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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