You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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