He kissed a someone with a penis
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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