Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
