yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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