this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
