On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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